Life Lessons One

1.       Never pick up a container by the lid.

2.       Never argue with your wife, compass, mirror or gas gauge.

3.       Smell milk before you drink it – regardless of the expiration date.

4.       If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it.

5.       Don’t buy a vehicle unless it is made my General Motors.

6.       Vote Republican.

7.       Don’t talk politics or religion with a stranger  -- or even a friend that you don’t know REAL well.

8.       Some people are just jerks, and there is nothing you can do about it.  Ignore them.

9.       Unplug the iron before you leave on a trip – and take it with you.

10.   Spell check won’t correct all your mistakes.

11.   Don’t proof-read your own writing.

12.   If a lot of money is involved and you have never done it before, hire a professional.

13.   Don’t believe the hype. 

14.   Everything a teen-idol or over-the-hill actor looking for publicity says isn’t true.

15.   It is a lot harder to make money trading commodities that the course says it is.

16.   Your time is worth something.

17.   If your battery will barely crank your car, buy a new one.

18.   Before sitting on the toilet, check for paper – and snakes.

19.   If you buy an electronic combination house door lock, hide a key in the bushes.

20.   Plumbers are not overpaid.